How to Talk to Kids and Teens About Weight and Health: A Compassionate Approach
Based on a community discussion led by Lisa Tritto MD, and Amanda Ratz, LPC and motivational coach at Evora for Kids.
Talking about weight is challenging
Talking to kids about their weight, body image, and overall health can be a challenging topic for parents. Many caregivers worry about saying the wrong thing, causing harm, or unintentionally reinforcing negative self-image. In a recent community discussion, Dr. Lisa Tritto, a pediatrician specializing in childhood weight management, and Amanda Ratz, a counselor and motivational coach, shared insights on how to approach these conversations with empathy, understanding, and a focus on long-term well-being rather than numbers on a scale.
This article summarizes key takeaways from their discussion, including strategies for fostering confidence, encouraging healthy habits, and knowing when professional support may be helpful.
Why Weight is Complicated
One of the biggest misconceptions about weight is that it’s simply about eating less and moving more. In reality, weight is influenced by a variety of factors, including:
Genetics – Research shows that 40-70% of a person’s weight is determined by genetics.
Medical Conditions – Hormonal disorders, metabolic conditions, and other health issues can play a role.
Mental Health – Stress, ADHD, anxiety, and depression can impact eating behaviors and weight.
Environment – Access to healthy foods, opportunities for movement, and even societal attitudes toward weight can shape health outcomes.
Because weight is so complex, it’s important for parents not to place blame—on themselves or their children. Instead, the goal should be to support kids in building healthy habits without shame or pressure.
How to Talk to Kids About Weight in a Positive Way
Avoiding Harmful Language
At Evora for Kids, one of the key principles is using neutral and person-first language when talking about weight. Terms like “obesity” are often stigmatizing and can make kids feel labeled. Instead, using words like “weight,” “size,” or “shape” can feel less judgmental.
Additionally, parents should focus on behaviors rather than numbers on a scale. Instead of saying, “We need to work on your weight,” try, “Let’s focus on keeping your body strong and healthy.”
Creating Open Conversations
It’s important to let kids lead the conversation. Asking open-ended questions like:
“How do you feel about your health?”
“What are some things you’d like to do to feel your best?”
“Do you ever feel uncomfortable talking about your body?”
By creating a safe and nonjudgmental space, kids are more likely to open up and feel supported.
The Role of Parents as Role Models
Kids learn from their parents—not just from what they’re told, but from what they see. If parents speak negatively about their own bodies, children will internalize those messages. Instead of making comments about weight, focus on what your body can do rather than how it looks.
For example, instead of saying, “I need to lose weight,” say, “I love how good I feel when I go for a walk.”
Modeling Positive Behaviors
Avoid making negative comments about your own body or others’ appearances.
Focus on non-weight-related health habits, like getting good sleep, reducing stress, and eating for energy.
Encourage movement for joy and well-being, not just for weight loss.
Dr. Tritto also recommends parents take the Harvard Implicit Bias Test to better understand their own biases around weight and how they may unconsciously influence their children’s self-perception.
Building Self-Confidence in Kids
Kids of all sizes and shapes deserve to feel confident and valued for who they are. Parents can foster self-esteem by:
Highlighting strengths unrelated to appearance – Instead of saying, “You look great,” say, “I love how kind and hardworking you are.”
Encouraging effort over outcome – Praise children for trying new things, not just for achieving a certain goal.
Normalizing a variety of body types – Show kids that health comes in all shapes and sizes.
Parents can also help children recognize the unrealistic beauty standards set by social media and society, reinforcing that self-worth is not defined by weight.
How to Talk About Food and Eating
Shifting the Language Around Food
Rather than labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” it’s better to teach kids that food is fuel for the body.
Younger children: “What’s the right amount of food for your body today?”
Older kids and teens: “How do certain foods make you feel?”
It’s also helpful to acknowledge that we eat for reasons beyond hunger—such as stress, boredom, or social connection. If a child is frequently eating when they’re upset, try asking, “What’s going on? How are you feeling?” instead of immediately correcting the behavior.
Getting Kids Involved in Food Choices
One strategy that works well is letting kids take an active role in grocery shopping and meal planning. Encouraging them to:
Pick out new fruits and vegetables at the store.
Help prepare meals in the kitchen.
Experiment with different healthy recipes.
Take a cooking class together.
This creates a positive relationship with food rather than making eating feel like a restriction.
Encouraging Joyful Movement
Instead of focusing on exercise for weight loss, Dr. Tritto encourages families to think about joyful movement—activities that make kids feel happy and energized.
Ideas include:
Dance parties in the living room.
Going for a walk together.
Playing a sport or riding a bike.
Trying out different activities until they find one they love.
For kids who are resistant to movement, start small: “Let’s just put on our sneakers and step outside.” Any step toward movement is progress.
Navigating Tough Conversations with Teens
Teens can be especially sensitive about body image. Dr. Tritto and Amanda suggest approaching conversations gently and at the right time.
Avoid big, sit-down talks—instead, try bringing up topics casually during a car ride or a walk.
Ask permission to discuss—“Would you be open to talking about your health goals?”
Listen more than you talk—Teens want to feel heard, not lectured.
Most importantly, reassure them that they are loved and valued just as they are.
When to Seek Professional Help
If a child is distressed about their weight, has unhealthy eating patterns, is struggling with self-esteem, or experiencing health problems, professional support may be helpful.
At Evora for Kids, Dr. Tritto offers personalized weight management care that is nonjudgmental and child-focused. The team includes:
A registered dietitian
A personal trainer
A therapist and motivational coach
Parents interested in learning more can schedule a free 15-minute consultation through EvoraForKids.com.
Final Thoughts
Talking to kids about weight and health is a delicate but important conversation. The key takeaways from this discussion are:
✅ Focus on health behaviors, not numbers.
✅ Use nonjudgmental language and avoid stigma.
✅ Build self-confidence by reinforcing non-appearance-based strengths.
✅ Encourage joyful movement and a balanced approach to food.
✅ Seek support if needed—kids don’t have to navigate health alone.
By approaching these conversations with kindness, openness, and understanding, parents can help their children develop a healthy relationship with their bodies that lasts a lifetime.
